Love and peace is from Allah and anger is from Shaitaan(Iblis)

Fights between brothers ans sisters are quite common and so me and my brothers always fight over all possible stuffs but then again we get alone pretty fast. The same thing happened at home yesterday. As i have 3 brothers and m the only girl at home so these guys play lot of pranks on me and make me cry always. So yesterday me and my bro had an arguement over a very silly matter and we were criticising and complimenting each other in a sarcastic way. My mom feels that we are grown ups and we should understand that the relaionsships now are very delicate and ve to be handled carefully. So she interferes in all our arguements and always asks me to apologise even if its my bro's mistake. So this time i got very angry and upset and even cried a lot coz its my weekness i cant hear a thing abt me if i m not wrong. So out of anger i left home saying "Mamma i thought u r the only1 who understands me,jab aap nahi samaj sakte toh no1 in this world can understand me, wats the use of me here". Tears rolling down my eyes i left home.Went to a lonely place and sat there for some time thinking all possible stupid things which made me cry more more and more(obviously i had to think coz i was in control of Iblis- the devil). whenever i m upset or cry i feel hungry. So after some time i wiped my tears and went to a super market and grabber some fruit juice(i was embarrassed to go to any hotel coz of my face expression any1 can make out i was crying, in supermarket i need not talk to any1 just pick up stuff and pay for it). I knew juice wont satisfy my hunger so to my surprise i found a packet of Harshey's Kisses (my fav. chocolate), just turned around and found that the price of it is wayyyyyyyyyyyy high (its imported after all) But still its more than 4 times the real price par kya kare mujh upar gusse ka bhoot sawar tha. I got them billed and went back to the same lonely place on a bench under a tree. I finished my juices chocolates and waited for call from home and no calls. This made me cry more thinking no1 care :(. Thought of calling any fren and sharing with them but wen i thought wat ll i tel my frenz i myself was ashamed of telling the fact that i left the house coz of such a silly reason that too at this age so i stopped myself from calling any1 and kept crying. Again i felt hungry and felt like having my favourite pastry from CCD and so i went to the nearby CCD and ordered for the pastry and the cold chocolate with think cream and lot of chocolate.I had nowhere to go so finised it slowly watching ppl around. Later i saw a new gaming center was put-up nearby, i thought of visiting it.so went there i couldnt stop trying my hand on all the games. After that again time for my evening supper (i usually dont eat so much but i was upset and crying so i was hungry again). I went had had vry yummy supper. i went to the bench again, it was dawn then and i realised shaam ke baad all machchar and chipkali 'll be around so time to go home but how? i did a big blunder at home it ll be shameful.I searched for my purse and found all the bills from morning i spent on. I summed up amont and i was shocked to see that i ve spent enough.I mean i ve spent a lot ( i hate using debet cards for payment coz i wont realise how much i spent, jab paise dete hain toh ehsaas hota hai ki kitna spet kiya). Ab mujhe ghar jaana tha, saath me gussa bhi shaant hogaya tha ab jab gussa utar gaya i realised gusse me i screwd my pocket money and in addition i got to put on some tons of calories(BTW i was on diet from few days). I thought for a while ki ab ghar pe kaise jaaon kaise call karon.... Fir socha y to think so much its mamma, y shud i be thinking so much to call her so called her..... but then i thought again if iblis provoke me if i fight again? i dont wanted to make it still worse so i decided to throw my so called false Ego in a gutter and went home. Mamma was watching TV. I had some more chocolates and choco filled biscuits left, i sat on dining table and started placcing them on table". MAmma was looking at me, i started taking out all the bills and started mumuring to myself "uffff sooo much i spent :(" I can see a slight crack of smile on mamma's face i couldnt control myslf from loling on me. so i turned to Mamma and said "If u pay me for my bills i ll stay back at home and i ll start talking to u like i used to". She said wat bills and y shud i then i explained her how because of her i had to wonder here and there n how i made my gussa shaant. she LOLed at me and said "i know this was coming" so ok tel me wats my fine, i m ready to pay for my mistake". So finally this way me and mamma became good, i said sorry and blames the devil to have misguided me and influenced me. my 2 bhabi's were giggling looking at me from the kitchen. i said haslo bhabi,its ok i m used to it. i always do this and every1 at home is used to it, app bhi used to ho jayengi. fir both of them burst out laughing. My bro was not there at home wen i went home. Later he came and to my surprise again he got me a bigggggggggg chocolate coz all this started coz of him. At first i did some nakhra and said no nahi chahiye. aap sab karte ho aur fir choco deke bach jate ho.and bla bla. mamma said lelena nahi toh baadme pachtana na pade (coz my bro is very stringy he keeps account of everything). xpecting my bro to spend so much just to make me smile took away all my anger and now i was feeeling ashamed of wat i did.

And for more tadka i happen to get a fwd sms abt how much pain a mother takes while a child is born. This made me feel that iowe my life to my mom and howcome me unki koi baat se naraz ho sakti hon. I curse myself for my whole days act. rememberd a conversation where one of my fren mentioned Love is from Allah and anger is from Iblis, so choose whatever u want.I m right now ashamed and posting this incidence in the blog to keep myself reminding to control my anger and learn the art of forgiving. The devil made me yell at mom and i ll never forget this and i regret it. I love mamma and anything for her. Dare u iblis to come in between me and mamma. Khair nahi tumhari shaitaan ke bachche.............


God plz save me from this evil called anger and also plz guide me to spread love everywhere as Mother Theresa said.