Complicated and confused, how thoughtful of me.

Its not something which happen to only me, its something which has to and have happenned to many. Yeah i am talking about this shaadi, bhyaah , marrieage or marriage. see i cant even spell it properly and people think its the right time and i am ready for this stuff. Logon ko meri khushi shayad bardash nahi hoti so they come up witht his utterly ugly idea of getting me married. I am right now pissed off. I take one whole day to choose the kind of dress i want which i wud hardly wear for a day or two and its the matter of husband(life parner as all say), how can i just say yes to any xyz.
may b its not soo very big thing my be i am exaggarating it. I took some time and thought for myself ki its not a big deal, shaadi toh sab karte hai toh shayad achi hi cheez hogi. Zyada se zyaada kya hoga?

1.I have to share my room. (what if he snoors?) :O(panic)
2.What if he talks while sleeping.
3.what if he uses my towel and pillo(which i am very perticular abt not sharing it with any1) also abt comb?
4.Do i have to have his jhoota(left over)? what if he dont brush properly?
5.I have to go for a movie with him to prove a good wife(though i hate theatre). On that i ve to pretend to like it.
6.I may have to cook his favourite food.
7.wear his favourite style
8.have to ask him to go to my parents.
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n. countless scary thoughts i got..

I explained it to my mom and grany. Their reply was if we ever had thought soo much we wudnt ve married. Cool na they scare me more
Only good thing about wedding is, i get another family to praise me on my good deeds and to care about me. Its kind of lovely to imagine it.
But rest all thing is a nightmare. I am not afraid abt loosing my feedom and stuff, its abt loosing myself. How could i just meet someone and decide if i wanna spend rest of my life with him.
Shaadi ka laddu jo khaye pachtaye, aur jo na khaye woh bhi pachtaye. Thinking ki wud i regret or not or whatever. I told u its confusing and complicated.
I wish i was dumb and didnt had to think much about stuffs and would have let the things happen its way. My urge of trying to be unique may take me to wrong turns too.
I am a terrible blogger i know. ok me stopping it.

My 15 days of sleeplessness!!!!!!!!!

Insomniac!!! ya i was propobly became one of them lately. I had absolutely no idea why was it happening to me. I tried by myself for about 3-4 days to sleep. Tried all possible ways like making the room dark and having a pin-drop silence
but no it didnt work, so next was i tried to read an utterly boring book but no, then watched b/w dabba movie, played boring music and no. took a hot water bath and tried but no i couldnt sleep. Then finally i had a half a bottle of cough
syrup but no it didnt work either. I finally gave up and took this issue to mom she said many ways but still i cudnt.
I then started getting sms from almost all relatives and frens with different remedies and also some prayers so that i cud sleep but nothing helped either. My roommates also helpped me with this but insane.
I didnt even fall sick, it was just that i was completely fresh and active 24/7 for 2 weeks. I then realised that something is bad with me. I kind of started enjoying it because i was able to finish the bulk lot of movies which i was trying to watch from very long
but due to time limit i cudnt see.

I heard that people fall sick if they dont sleep for 6-8 hrs everyday but i was afraid that if i continue this way i may end up with some serious disorder. But everything has to end 1 day.
This also has to end. so here it ends with out any warning. I collected so many movies to watch late nights and also many games and books to pass my time but unfortunately or fortunately
One night i was just talking to my roomie and i fell asleep. my roommates were soo very happy they didnt bother to make any noise or ny sort of sound and left the room.
All were so happy they almost had a party that i finally m getting sleep. i mean i finally was becoming normal. But i seriously miss my sleepless night.
They were so fun and i had lots of plans to do. I would never ever forget these weiredly favourite days of mine.

Emotional Atyachaar - Pravesh doing a good job.

Yeah that right. Being jobless i have become a tv worm(as in book worm). I have seen almost all stupid shows on tv. i got to change my remote's cell every alternate month. before it used to get changed twice a year. Of all shows i have been watching almost all turned out to be a time pass or a waste of time. But this one particular show stole my attention. It made me think seriously about reality. Its the "Emotional Attyachaar" on UTVbindaas. It a show where any common girl or a boy can check the loyalty of their partner. You just have to approach them on their site and submit the details. If u r lucky n if they feel ur story may get them TRP they ll check ur partners loyalty with the help of an undercover agent. Well that was all about the show. To know it better, watch any one episode of it.

Hmmmmm so why m i writing this in my blog? waise many of my frens tel me its scripted and not a reality show and bla bla.... ok for instance i accept its scripted. but does it make any difference? no it doesnt. coz the response and reactions they show are so real. If for a while you keep urself in the characters place and imagine you wud probably do the same thing. It just a normal reaction or a response anyone wud get.

After seeing this show my frens usually discuss ki aaj kal ppl ve become so practical. There no love and bla bla.. No value for love and all.. But i always believe that LOVE has got its special place not cos of what wonders it does but cos of few ppl who really understood and made it live forever. For example the romeo juliet, heer ranjha and many. Their sacrifice and their way of expressing had give love the meaning.

If you want love you give love. You ll surely get it back more than you gave. I strongly believe it and it really works. Love is divine, its just a wonderful feeling. Its not that easy to pen this wonderful thing.

I would suggest all to watch emotional attyachaar and take it positively. I ve seen many frens of mine who had a breakup and were in depression are able to come out of it take life practically after watching this. The reason is that they realised that they aint the ony one to get cheated lol..... funny but sach hai.

I myself cant bare it the way i m yapping in my blog coz i ve nothing else to do. Its such an ******* thing.

Its been 4 days i didnt sleep and I think I should before brain fatigue makes me put down that which shall never be able to be explained, yet felt and been in close comfort too.

Gosssssshhhhhhhh its soooo very confusing.........

TO MY MAMMA

This is for u mom, the love of my life.
Love, had always been a big big word to me before i realized u r my love mamma.Now, even love seems to be a smallest word. Mamma i have no words to describe what you mean to me.
U were there at the beginning when the world was new to me, U were the one who listened to my all silly n stupid stories of my nursery school.
Mamma i still remember that u were the one who always bare with the complaints of teachers because of me and never said a word.
You always made me feel special, You taught me very important lessons of my life in your own way. You always turned me happy when i was hurt n blue.You always listened to my thoughts and advised me whenever i asked. You were there to help me with my prayers every night.
You are always there whenever i m hungry. You never said a word when you saw my dirty clothes. You just smiled and said Hojayega dont worry.
Mamma it is you who had made me what i am today.
Mamma you are the strongest. You were the best for me even in your worse. I still cant make out how you manage to solve issues between me and dad so easily. You are the one 'coz of who we are a loving family. Despite of soo much of differences we love each other and its coz of u mom.
Mamma how can you be soo good, why vent i seen u lying to any1 or even doing any wrong to any1 till date. Mamma how can u be so perfect. Mamma how do u do it.
U r a good daughter, good sister, good friend, good wife, good daughter in law and good mamma. How do you do it.
Mamma i love the way u love me, love the way u love bhaiya and paapa. I just want to be you. I always admire u and so i will try to be you.
You are always there whenever i needed you most. wonder how wud u know? only heaven knows it all... Mamma you were there in the beginnings and you will be there till the end. You are a world to me.
Whenever I am low mom, you are the one who comes to my mind first. I call you and yes I cant share with you that I am upset coz I don’t want to make you upset but trust me mom when I listen to you I realize I have no reason to be upset coz I have you. Love you Ma
PS: i have the worlds best mom.
Proof: the day she discovered she is diabetic she cried a lot. reason? not coz she's sick. It was coz it is a hereditary desease and so any of her children will surely get it so she cried. I owe her my life. I can do anything for her. I know every mom is the best but my mom is the bestest

Mere aaj kal ka haal

Now a days i am a victim of MANIC - Depressive illness. I experience mood swings as often as i see the Sun. I am prone to be showing extreames of Every emotion- be it Love, hate, care etc... I am very Blunt at times (eg. NOW). Very confused in Life. I listen to my heart. I relate my life to songs i listen to. I prefer listening to Hip hop n pop. ROck and heavy metal excites me as well. I like reading books-specially the romantic ones. I can hide my emotions well. Even my near n dear ones cant figure me out. I dont like sharing things about me with people i donno but 'coz i am extremly bored, i am writing this SHIT

Go green

Ya go green not just wearing green. Go green when people read this they just get one thing in mind to plant as many plants as possible but they find no place to plant so they giveup. Ok if we cant plant plants we can atleast so something whihc we can do. Like i make sure i switch off the lights and fan when not in use. I even dim my monitor so that atleast 0.0009% od power be saved, i say no to polythene when i ve a bag or i can manage without polythene. I dont waste water. I try to atleast complain the concern person abt the water leakage of any i notice. I do use polythene, i do waste water sometime but i make sure i avoid all wastefull stuff atleast where i could. People some time notice me and call me stringy i just smile and say i am going green. I am doing my part please u do ur part. by doing so u really gift a better tomorrow to urself. I may not be successfull in conveying my message but its just that m trying to do it u too try to do it. U will feel good. Its easy also. So next time try to change the things around u for a better tomorrow.

Go Green guys

IN MY ROOM THE FOLLOWING RULES APPLY

I and my room. I have a personal attachment to my room and ya every1 does. My room is messy, all things fallen here and there. I have millions of things which are tough to be placed so it looks messy else its clean. Away from dust and bad smell and full of liveliness and positive energy. Trust me u will get a new life once u see my room. But ya few set of rules to be followed in my room. So here they go

-> Knock and wait for reply before entering.
->Dont open any drawers-they sometimes explode.
->Visitors enter barefooted at their own risk.
->I decide when it is time for a cleanup.
->The things that are thrown about shoud be thrown about otherwise i wont find them.
->Visitors that do not like noise please stay away
->The one who comes to wake me up is advised to wear a crash helmet.
->Remember I decide what goes up and comes down from the walls.
->If your business is not vitally important-keep out!!!